.034 | voice/spam.

[paradoxlol]

I know this defies all kinds of Barge superstitions, but I'm gonna come right out and say it: I'd kill for a port right now. Having missed the adventure into a post-apocalyptic wasteland, the last time I even left the boat was in January.

When I turned into a woman.

Let's try for another down-to-earth port next time, Admiral-- with a little less gender bending.

[Warden Filter]
Perry's being released from Zero today. I don't think he'll be causing any trouble, but if you see him doing anything suspicious at all, if you see him threaten anyone off the networks, give me a call. I'll have my communicator close.

If anyone needs me, I'll be in the CES. As you can imagine, Level 0 doesn't exactly offer many opportunities to stretch your legs.

[Private to Eames]
Looks like your inmate's causing quite a stir. Anything I can do?

[OPEN SPAM - CES]
[So, Arthur will be in a nice country setting. If you run into him, he'll either be 1) going for a run or 2) taking a dip in a lake. Since he didn't bring a swimsuit with him, this means he's skinny dipping. Feel free to steal his clothes or just MAKE THINGS AWKWARD. I WANT TO TAKE A BREAK FROM SRS BIZNESS.]

Comments

[ourlastbesthope.livejournal.com]

Hm. I thought that one was fun.

[paradoxlol]

Who knew you had secret dreams of domesticity.

[ourlastbesthope.livejournal.com]

Well, I guess they're not so secret now, are they?

I actually meant the other one.

[batmanschmatman]

Well, I guess now we know who to blame for our upcoming gender bending port.

[paradoxlol]

Guilty as charged, Dick.

[batmanschmatman]

So, would you take another adventure in some potentially post apocalyptic setting, or are you not quite that stir crazy yet?

Just when she was sort of vaguely starting to like you/think you were OK. >:|

[acid_rayne]

[Spam]

[puzzleprince.livejournal.com]

[Ooh, is that some beautiful scenery over there?

WHOOPS EDDIE ACCIDENTALLY KICKED A PILE OF CLOTHES INTO THE WATER. And he kind of stares at them as they float to the bottom of the lake.

Looking to the west, looking to the east-- oh shit, the skinny dipper's there, and Eddie's standing right where his clothes used to be.]

[Spam]

[paradoxlol]

[HEY. Arthur turns at the sound of the splash... and spots a fellow warden standing... where his clothes used to be. OH SHIT, HIS CLOTHES. Arthur swims over and dives down trying to retrieve them, and he comes up with an armful of soggy clothes. Thank god he left his iPod in the cabin.]

You know, I would have preferred a "hello."

[Spam]

[puzzleprince.livejournal.com]

[Those clothes don't look very wearable, now.]

[Eddie lifts a hand in greeting:] Hello. [See? He can manage a 'hello'. He just had to kick Arthur's clothes into the water first.]

Leaving your clothes by the lake was a bit perilous, don't you think? You're going to have an interesting walk home now, aren't you.

[needshumility.livejournal.com]

Are they... really the only sort of places this stops? Where you're a woman or...

How do you define wasteland?

[paradoxlol]

There were a few decent stops. Salem, Christmas in Germany... The Admiral seems to have a preference for extremes, though.

I didn't experience it first-hand, but it sounded like your typical arid, irradiated shell of a society.

[needshumility.livejournal.com]

[A lot of things and places he doesn't understand there. pause.]

Why were they decent?

[boughtitall.livejournal.com]

You were a woman?

[paradoxlol]

Briefly, Saito. [USING HIS MANLIEST ICON TO COMBAT THE IMAGE OF GIRL ARTHUR.]

[boughtitall.livejournal.com]

That is quite the mental image.

private;

[everylittlegirl]

Hey.

private;

[paradoxlol]

Hey. Something wrong? [BECAUSE LOL ARTHUR ISN'T USED TO SOCIAL CONVERSATIONS.]

private;

[everylittlegirl]

[There's lots of awkward and short pauses.] I know you're friends with Capa and everything, but.. do you think that maybe you and I could be friends? I mean, do you even do the whole friends thing normally?

[It's a homework assignment to find friends, Arthur. Don't take it too personally.]

Private

[aforger]

[It's all said with the same, slightly amused and matter-of-fact tone of voice.] You can speak up for me when it's brought to light I shot a fellow warden. Otherwise, unless you have any new insights into what might work with Jonathan, I believe we're meant to have a drink soon.

Private

[paradoxlol]

[Arthur seems unfazed by this, because HE'S A PROFESSIONAL, DAMN IT.] Bruce Wayne or Nygma? And is he dead?

Shall we have the drink before or after the others vote to send you to Zero?

Private

[aforger]

Mr. Wayne, in the shoulder. Perfectly functional.

Would both be too much to ask?

[blesseddumbfuck.livejournal.com]

Hello, Arthur.

I would also like a port. I think someplace with mountains. It's funny. I've spent a lot of time in the mountains, but I have never been skiing. Or snowboarding.

I would look majestic on a snowboard.

[paradoxlol]

Biff. [It feels so weird to call an old timey person that.] It's a shame you missed our holiday port. It would have provided ample opportunities for skiing.

[blesseddumbfuck.livejournal.com]

It is a shame. Perhaps we will go to a beach and I may try water-skiing.