.034 | voice/spam.

[paradoxlol]

I know this defies all kinds of Barge superstitions, but I'm gonna come right out and say it: I'd kill for a port right now. Having missed the adventure into a post-apocalyptic wasteland, the last time I even left the boat was in January.

When I turned into a woman.

Let's try for another down-to-earth port next time, Admiral-- with a little less gender bending.

[Warden Filter]
Perry's being released from Zero today. I don't think he'll be causing any trouble, but if you see him doing anything suspicious at all, if you see him threaten anyone off the networks, give me a call. I'll have my communicator close.

If anyone needs me, I'll be in the CES. As you can imagine, Level 0 doesn't exactly offer many opportunities to stretch your legs.

[Private to Eames]
Looks like your inmate's causing quite a stir. Anything I can do?

[OPEN SPAM - CES]
[So, Arthur will be in a nice country setting. If you run into him, he'll either be 1) going for a run or 2) taking a dip in a lake. Since he didn't bring a swimsuit with him, this means he's skinny dipping. Feel free to steal his clothes or just MAKE THINGS AWKWARD. I WANT TO TAKE A BREAK FROM SRS BIZNESS.]

Comments

[paradoxlol]

What's something we haven't had yet... Dinosaurs?

[Private]
Yeah. It's pretty hard to feel productive when you can barely see any progress.

[batmanschmatman]

That could work. Have we ever stopped over at Amity Island or anything? Although I won't lie, I'd take dinosaurs over sharks.

[Private]

Well, hopefully this amalgamation of every horror movie cliche ever port can help get those less fun feelings out of the way for a few days.

[paradoxlol]

Not that I know of. [He laughs.] Sharks wouldn't be so bad, as long as we can stay out of the water.

[Private]
Exactly. Never underestimate power of a good distraction.

Of course, afterwards we'll be right back to infighting and name calling. [Of which Arthur's been guilty of himself, AND HE FEELS LIKE AN ASS ABOUT IT.]

[batmanschmatman]

Please, do people in Jaws movies ever stay out of the water? We'd be like, compelled to go out on boats even though Howie's trying to convince whoever gets to be mayor that the beaches should be closed for Fourth of July weekend.

[Private]

It wouldn't be the Barge if there wasn't some of that going on.

[paradoxlol]

This is an eerily accurate depiction of exactly how a shark attack port would go.

[Private]
True. It's just one of the charms of the place.

[batmanschmatman]

Well, I have seen Jaws.

[Private]

I'm not sure I'd got as far as to call it a "charm".

[paradoxlol]

Let's hope the Admiral isn't taking notes right now.

[Private]
Quirk, then. An infuriating quirk.

[batmanschmatman]

Just when you thought it was safe to go off the Barge...

[Private]

There we go.