paradoxlol | .034 | voice/spam.

I know this defies all kinds of Barge superstitions, but I'm gonna come right out and say it: I'd kill for a port right now. Having missed the adventure into a post-apocalyptic wasteland, the last time I even left the boat was in January.

When I turned into a woman.

Let's try for another down-to-earth port next time, Admiral-- with a little less gender bending.

[Warden Filter]
Perry's being released from Zero today. I don't think he'll be causing any trouble, but if you see him doing anything suspicious at all, if you see him threaten anyone off the networks, give me a call. I'll have my communicator close.

If anyone needs me, I'll be in the CES. As you can imagine, Level 0 doesn't exactly offer many opportunities to stretch your legs.

[Private to Eames]
Looks like your inmate's causing quite a stir. Anything I can do?

[OPEN SPAM - CES]
[So, Arthur will be in a nice country setting. If you run into him, he'll either be 1) going for a run or 2) taking a dip in a lake. Since he didn't bring a swimsuit with him, this means he's skinny dipping. Feel free to steal his clothes or just MAKE THINGS AWKWARD. I WANT TO TAKE A BREAK FROM SRS BIZNESS.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Ooh, is that some beautiful scenery over there?

WHOOPS EDDIE ACCIDENTALLY KICKED A PILE OF CLOTHES INTO THE WATER. And he kind of stares at them as they float to the bottom of the lake.

Looking to the west, looking to the east-- oh shit, the skinny dipper's there, and Eddie's standing right where his clothes used to be.]

[HEY. Arthur turns at the sound of the splash... and spots a fellow warden standing... where his clothes used to be. OH SHIT, HIS CLOTHES. Arthur swims over and dives down trying to retrieve them, and he comes up with an armful of soggy clothes. Thank god he left his iPod in the cabin.]

You know, I would have preferred a "hello."

[Those clothes don't look very wearable, now.]

[Eddie lifts a hand in greeting:] Hello. [See? He can manage a 'hello'. He just had to kick Arthur's clothes into the water first.]

Leaving your clothes by the lake was a bit perilous, don't you think? You're going to have an interesting walk home now, aren't you.

[They're totally not. Arthur makes a valiant effort to at least throw them back onto dry land.]

I wasn't expecting to have such clumsy company. [LINEFACE.] I don't suppose you could do me the favor of bringing something to wear.

Don't get testy with me, kid. You're skinny dipping. Your clothes deserved every drop of that sewage water.

[Eddie's about to deny that request-- but access into Arthur's room? Not such a bad deal.]

I suppose I don't have much choice in the matter. [Have a tight smile.] I'll need the key to your cabin.

[Arthur arches his brow.] 'Kid'? [He crosses his arms.] It was a spontaneous act. Clearly ill-advised.

[NICE TRY, EDDIE.] Not happening. There's lost and found in the laundry room.

[Eddie pretends to look offended, but he secretly really doesn't want to touch anything in there.]

Pass. I won't be touching peoples used goods for your benefit.

[He leans down a little.]

I can, however, offer you a branch to hide your shame as you trek mightily through the woods.

[Arthur frowns, but he keeps his voice neutral.]

And I'm guessing it would be too much to ask you to get something from your room.

Correct.

[But look, Eddie's briefly wandering away to grab Arthur a branch, as promised.

He returns with a near-leafless one and offers it to Arthur.]

Here you are.

[Arthur just gives Eddie a totally unimpressed look.] You can keep it.

[With a shrug, Eddie withdraws the stick and drops it by his foot.]

Unusually insipid for a man who participates in skinny dipping.

[There's a bit of a pause.

And then, miraculously, Eddie starts to shrug off his jacket to give to Arthur. It's not his favorite one, and it's easily replaceable.]

[LINEFAAAAACE.] It's not something I make a habit of doing. [He just wanted to enjoy a nice dip in the lake, damn it, why did Nygma have to show up?]

[He takes the jacket and sets it by the shore, so as to not get that wet, too.] Thanks. I'll bring it back once I'm decent again.

Welcome. [Eddie brushes his hands down the middle his black dress shirt. He doesn't really like being without his jacket, its absence makes him look small. Smaller than he already is.]

Leave it in the laundry. I'll be there on Thursday.

[With a farewell wave of his arm, he turns around to leave back through the pathway he had come from.]

.034 | voice/spam.

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