.026 | Spam/Voice.

[paradoxlol]

[OPEN SPAM]
[Continued from what will be the end of this thread. For once, Arthur was at a loss. After his talk with Angelica, he felt frozen in place for a minute, before turning on his heel, jaw set-- clenched-- as he strode purposefully away. Truth be told, he had no idea what the fuck he was going to do. He just stalked the corridors of the Barge restlessly, body taut with tension, eyes narrowed, nostrils flaring a little as he took sharp breaths in and out. He wanted to punch something, scream, mow down a room full of projections, but he couldn't. He couldn't. That would be losing control.]

[VOICE; later]
[Arthur's words are a little slurred. It's unusual for him to do any Dear Diary entries on the network, share what he's feeling, any of that, but tonight's a special occasion. His perception's been unexpectedly turned on its head, and he's lost control just long enough for this.]

You think... you think you know someone. In and out. Like... you've been inside them. Seen them at their most vulnerable. But you can crawl into a person and never know... what they're capable...

[There's a long silence, then he continues.]

How do we construct our realities? They're... they're memories. Experiences. We take them... and we build our worlds. None of us really inhabit the same one. I mean... What I see, when I look at my family, my friends, colleagues, strangers I pass on the street... it's not what anybody else would see. People carry these complex... internal lives, but to us, the... the "main characters" of our perception, they're just... [PROJECTIONS.] roles to be filled, that we put them in based on what we know-- our memories, the images they project, the reality they put together to share with us...

You see, it's all very precarious. Reality. And a fundamental omission, once uncovered, it... [He chokes, then lets out a frustrated snarl after a beat.] Knocks the whole fucking house of cards down.

[CLICK.]

[OOC: Backdated to this post and the Very Bad Things with Mal. He now knows that Cobb incepted Mal and never told him, and he's torn between his loyalty to Cobb and his feelings of friendship with Mal.

FOR THE SPAM, consider it like a mini-day in the life thing. I don't mind multiple threads, but would prefer nothing like, VIOLENT OR EARTH SHATTERING, as he has to go and get drunk alone like a sad man afterwards.

As for the content of the voice post, if you're one of the SMALL HANDFUL OF PEOPLE who knows about dream sharing/extraction, you can read the double meaning in Arthur's post. Otherwise, uh, please don't suddenly "catch on" to that stuff, because there's no reason to.]

Comments

[hatestriangles]

Hey, warden, you don't sound so good.

[HEAR THE PLEASURE HE TAKES IN YOUR BREAKDOWN, ARTHUR.]

[paradoxlol]

I'm fine.

[hatestriangles]

Sure, you are. [Mmm, sarcasm.] What's wrong? Someone lie to you?

Private

[ourlastbesthope.livejournal.com]

Arthur.

['Are you alright' seems to be a dumb question.] What's wrong?

Private

[paradoxlol]

[Pauuuuse. Should he say anything? What more can he possibly say without giving his secrets away than what was on the network?] Bad day. Very... very bad day. That's all.

Private

[ourlastbesthope.livejournal.com]

That's not all.

Private

[batmanschmatman]

[Dick is actually... really, really not sure he wants to ask Arthur about this right now, considering he definitely sounds pissed, but he needs the answers, and Arthur might be able to give them.]

Can I ask you something?

Private

[paradoxlol]

Yeah?

Private

[batmanschmatman]

Did Ariadne say anything before she left?

[Private | Audio] Used this icon for the pose

[most_feared]

[He's very worried about you Arthur. And is wondering what brought this on.] I didn't, before. I thought I didn't. But then I met a psychic, a serial killer, who forced himself into my head. He was a psychic. I started thinking like him, acting like him. I kept it, partially 'cause I wanted to track him. Partially because it was odd, knowing someone that well. I finally got rid of it after we tracked him down.

[A pause.] I had another chance to with Narvin, so I took it. Sometimes I really do know what's in his head. He lets me remember the things he remembers. Feel the things he feels, dream his dreams. He has my dreams too, sometimes.

But still, one thing they shut out, and you don't see 'em shattering.

Where are you? [He wants to come talk to you. Or fail check on you, as Kay is awesome for doing. And without Jay around, Arthur is the brunt of his worry.]

[Private | Audio] Pensive!

[paradoxlol]

[Awww Kay.] I don't think I'd want to... connect like that with anybody. [Test runs in his subconscious were one thing. He's a practiced enough dreamer to compartmentalize, hide the personal. What Kay's talking about is a whole new level of intimacy.]

My room. I'm okay.

[Private | Audio]

[most_feared]

Didn't say that you did. [And he has to compartmentalize too. And respect that Narvin won't violate any boundaries beyond offered surface thoughts.] I just said sometimes it doesn't even work.

You're not okay. Don't gotta tell me why. Have you had a drink?

[Private]

[boughtitall.livejournal.com]

You have found out something which displeases you.

[Private]

[paradoxlol]

To say the least.

OOC: so sorry, Arthur. >.<

[cauchemal]

 

OOC: pffth, DON'T BE. I love it, even if Arthur doesn't :V

[paradoxlol]

[fbi-olivia.livejournal.com]

[Olivia understands your meaning on a very personal level and frowns accordingly.]

I'm sorry this happened to you. You probably don't want pity, I sure wouldn't. But, I understand that feeling entirely.

[paradoxlol]

It's a pretty fundamental problem. "You think you know someone..." [Er, don't go on a drunken tangent. He clears his throat.] Thanks.

sorry. o'brien just HAS to troll this. also. sexby would come say mean things. but won't.

[equalsfive.livejournal.com]

Reality is a very, very fragile thing. It's why it's so easy to build your own, to convince people of it. Because deep down, comrade, everyone doubts what they know, everyone doubts what they know on an individual level. Provide them with something more reliable, and it falls apart.

Trusting your memory is foolish.

lolbrien. SEXBY, YOU ARE A CLASS ACT.

[paradoxlol]

Memory is what constructs a person. You can't trust that, then you can't trust anything.

Private

[una_persson]

O'Brien? Do us all an enormous favour and leave off, all right?

[Una knows that some bad shit went down with Mal, albeit not the specifics. And she recalls from Arthur's post, way back when, that Mal is somehow a friend of Arthur's. So she's not best pleased with her inmate right now.]

[strangehistorian]

Are you alright?

...No, I suppose that's a silly question.

Is there anything I can get you?

[paradoxlol]

No-- no, I'm fine, thanks. I, ah. Shouldn't have posted to the network like this.

[private] I couldn't NOT reply..

[aforger]

What is it?

[private] YAYYY

[paradoxlol]

Just wondering what I can trust. And who.

Did you know that Ariadne told a complete stranger about what we do?