.051 | voice.

[paradoxlol]

[Private to the Admiral]
I'd like to make a request for the following, for my inmate:

1. X-Box 360
2. The latest Madden game as of 2010
3. A couple of Guitar Hero games as of 2010. With the controllers.
4. And the most recent versions of: Bad Company, Call of Duty, Halo, Team Fortress. I don't really know my shooters, are these good?
5. Free weights in the range of [insert lbs here].

[Kitchen Warden Filter]
Perry's agreed to take on Breakfast, unless you guys are good on staff now, in which case he'll help out with Lunch. Just tell me where he's needed.

[Maintenance Filter]
I need someone to repair the door on Level 8, Room [I forget; Perry's :c]

[PUBLIC]
Is the book club still going? I'm not really interested in spending time with a lot of you, and I'll probably think your selections are derivative and insipid, and I usually only hung out in the library to research people and talk to Coyolxuahqui (and her breasts), but I'm bored now that my inmate's broken my ribs. So I need something to fill in the void left by sparring until this heals. Right now, my most strenuous activity is jerking off, which I've already done twice today, though I'd prefer a partner. Luckily, I'm attractive, and many of you are attractive, so I'm confident somebody will lend me a hand.

[OOC: I'm sorry. I'm so sorry /Tennantvoice]

Comments

[hatestriangles]

[YOU GROSSED HIM OUT, ARTHUR. And because he's just trying to REPRESS right now he hasn't quite put this weirdness together with the flood announcement yet. :C]

Next time just... filter that shit or something, warden. Jesus.

[paradoxlol]

I don't see why you're so squeamish about it. You had to have known that I do it every day. Most guys do.

[hatestriangles]

That doesn't mean you need to broadcast how much time you spend spanking the monkey over the network.

[paradoxlol]

Let's call it something else. I really don't want to think about monkeys when I do it. But now that I'm thinking about not thinking about monkeys, I know I'm going to.

This is kind of pushing IC but I DON'T EVEN CARE.

[hatestriangles]

What'd you want to call it then? Charming the snake? Dating Miss Michigan? Yanking your crank?

IT'S BEAUTIFUL

[paradoxlol]

"Charming the snake?" Now I'm just thinking about my slightly-less-attractive twin. My sex drive is going to suffer immensely for this.

[hatestriangles]

I can honestly say I'm not sorry.

[paradoxlol]

If I can't think about something else by dinner time, you've just cockblocked me.

[OH YEAH AND IMPORTANT STUFF:]

By the way, you're on the breakfast shift now. And I got your video games, but I don't know if they're any good, because all shooters are the same to me.

[hatestriangles]

[Just... laughing. At you, not with you. GOD HE HOPES HE COCKBLOCKED YOU.]

Shooters are fun, man. But I'm looking forward to Madden more anyway. When do I start?

[paradoxlol]

Tomorrow morning.

[hatestriangles]

Got it.

[AND HE'LL ACTUALLY TURN UP.]