.056 | Video.

[paradoxlol]

[Tommy St. James greets the communicator with his trademarked crooked grin, the one probably seen on the cover of so many magazines in the months leading up to his anticipated crime film, The Thrill Killers, in which he played a young detective trying to take down a pair of contract killers. And then, that trademarked crooked grin, along with Tommy, promptly vanished from the public eye once the movie flopped big time. Not that you can tell by how smug he looks.]

You know, I almost think this whole "storm" thing was arranged just to keep me from leaving the show again. [He chuckles.] Nah, I'm playing. It's good to be back. I mean, the trailer's a little smaller than I'm used to, but that's TV for you. It's all so quaint.

So, how are you? What'd I miss? Sorry I didn't keep up with you guys, but, heh, you know how it is when you're working on a big movie. Or maybe you don't. [He laughs, shooting the camera another grin.] No, no, I'm just kidding. You guys are great. Tell me everything.

[OOC: Here's Tommy St. James: GIANT HOLLYWOOD DOUCHE. Or wannabe Hollywood douche. Maybe just a douche. He was on the show for a while, got a few side roles in hit films, was pegged as the next It Guy, so he left the show and starred in a huge flop. AND NOW HE'S BACK, READY TO BE ADORED. ]

Comments

[buildindreemz]

[Dammit why do the producers hate her.]

And here I was hoping those script pages I got the other day were a practical joke.

[paradoxlol]

I missed you, too. We should rehearse that hugging scene.

[buildindreemz]

No.

And if you try to grab my ass, I'll slap you into next week.

[paradoxlol]

What ass? [YEAH HE WENT THERE.]

[buildindreemz]

[She hates you so much, Tommy.]

So how was that movie gig? I heard it had some performance issues.

[paradoxlol]

Hey. I've never had any complaints about my performance. Just wait til the DVD sales start.

[buildindreemz]

I have to wait?

I thought it was already available on demand?

[paradoxlol]

The movie's not, but I am. [OH HO HO.]

[buildindreemz]

You didn't have to tell me that. I already know you don't have standards.

[paradoxlol]

Hey, I have to give you hope somehow.

[buildindreemz]

That you'll contract an STD? That's definitely something I hope for.

[paradoxlol]

That only happened once!

[Pause.]

Anyway, I was googling my name the other day, and do you know how many people think we're dating? A lot.

[buildindreemz]

Fans making up stories won't make it true, Tommy.

[paradoxlol]

Just imagine what it'll do for our careers. People eat that "America's sweethearts" shit up.

[buildindreemz]

[Ugggggggggh.]

I'm not going to date someone for career advancement. I only date people I like.

Besides, I'm Canadian.

[paradoxlol]

That's okay, I don't hold it against you.

[buildindreemz]

You're a self-centered jerk. It's not gonna happen.

[paradoxlol]

Self-centered? I'm a star. Some things just happen to revolve around me.

[buildindreemz]

Being in one crappy action movie doesn't make you a star.

And if you knew me at all, you'd know I don't give a shit about that anyway.

[paradoxlol]

Uh, you're forgetting the three other movies I was in. [As a minor character.] Don't they teach you how to count in Ottawa or wherever?

[buildindreemz]

I've been in a few movies, too. So what? [She was a lead! They were indies!]

There's a point here, Tommy. You're missing it, as usual.

[paradoxlol]

How about any movies that hit more than five theaters?

[buildindreemz]

[She gestures with her hand above her head and a zooming sound, to indicate that the point is continuing to be missed.]

And you think I should want to date you.

[paradoxlol]

Not for real. It'd be acting. Y'know, like our jobs.

[buildindreemz]

I'm not going to fake-date you as a PR stunt. Gross.

[paradoxlol]

Your loss. I can hook up with another costar who gets the business.

[buildindreemz]

If it'll get you to stop hitting on me, go for it.

[batmanschmatman]

Not until you spill about how the movie industry's doing without me. I'm so tired of passing over scripts because the scheduling doesn't work.

[paradoxlol]

It's not the same without you, man. You need to talk the writers into putting you in a coma for a while so you can get your face on the big screen again.

Oh, yeah, and Nicole says hi. [Kidman, obviously.]

[batmanschmatman]

Maybe. Dick's got some gritty, character stuff they apparently want to keep me around for this season, so it might have to wait until we're done shooting. Not that I really mind? But there have been some really cool scripts I've had to turn down. [If by cool you mean like. Bears on a Cruise Ship and Battleship 2: Rise of the Submarines. But.

IS THERE ANY OTHER NICOLE.] Did you get her number?

[paradoxlol]

Tell me about it. They run you into the ground with this gig, and the most you can get out of it is like, an Emmy.

Her PA gave it to me. I totally nailed her. [He holds his hand up for a high five, even though this is video.] The PA, I mean, not Nicole.

[batmanschmatman]

Hey, at least we're getting out here. And this season seems like it'll be a blast, did you hear there's a rumor we're getting a musical storyline?

I was gonna say. [Have a camera high five? He'll high five you in person.] Good to have you back, Tommy.

[paradoxlol]

Oh man, the fans go crazy for that stuff. Think you're gonna get a solo?

It's good to be back. I mean, even if I've outgrown this whole gig a little. It's just, y'know, one of the most important things about fame is we can't forget where we come from. And this show's kinda like home to me. [He puts a hand to his heart.] Keeps me humble.

[batmanschmatman]

Hope so. I mean, you know Logan and I used to be pretty famous around town for our Simon Le Bon impressions, I've been dying to bring that out on camera. [He talks about this a lot. :V]

That's a good thing to have. I know if they ever did another Traitors of the Lost Dark movie, I'd be there in a heart beat.

[paradoxlol]

See, that's the kind of thing that makes you a star. You've got range, man. [SO INSPIRING.]

[batmanschmatman]

Well, so do you now, Mr. Big Movie Star. You totally stole the show.

[paradoxlol]

I couldn't have done it without you. Sometimes I think you're the only one here who gets it.

[batmanschmatman]

Probably, everyone else is still so wrapped up in their own petty issues. It's different, when you're working on a movie.

Meet Lindsay, the resident prankster and tomboy.

[slayage]

Good to have you back, man. Didn't see the movie you went to go shoot, what was it..? Kill kill kill?

[paradoxlol]

The Thrill Killers, Lindsay. You're missing out. Ebert called my performance "Unbelievable." [Not in the good way.]

[darknessb4me]

So why are you here? They kick you out?

[paradoxlol]

You guys clearly needed me to come back and inject some life to this show before it jumps the shark.

[darknessb4me]

So they kicked you out?

[paradoxlol]

[Mumble mumble] It's just a slow period. Everyone gets 'em.

[darknessb4me]

I don't.

[Surprise!Spam]

[insolubleriddle]

Hey Tommy, man!

[Look, it's your biggest fan, Mr. Hyperactive Derp! He leaps, and hugs, squeezing hard.]

God, it's so good to have you back! Everyones overjoyed!

[Surprise!Spam]

[paradoxlol]

[Finally, adoration! Tommy's graciously tolerating the hug, rewarding it with a manly back pat.]

I just couldn't stay away. You guts are like... my folksy, small town family. [Have a winning smile.]

So, they send you to be the welcome wagon?

[Surprise!Spam]

[insolubleriddle]

[What a charmer. Stewart here is certainly taken in by it.]

I elected myself! [Something he seems proud of.]

So, how was the big city? I heard the movie was a flop, but it must have been quite the experience, eh?