You have it easier than some. I can't masturbate anymore. I don't have a healthy sex drive now and the capacity for sexual interaction was burned out of me, but I don't allow myself to masturbate either because I want to be above that and fervently believe I need to devote all of my energy towards a greater purpose. That's why when I kill or test people, I tend to get right up close and give off unintentionally seductive body language. I almost never even realize it's happening because I don't get off on it; it's just the closest high-intensity activity I have to sex.

This disturbs me, though, more than the things I'm saying. All of this shit. I was immobilized in the infirmary when Coyolxauhqui was killing people, so it's not that. It's because I could hear my warden talking about her willingness to sleep with you before I replied and I don't like to think of her as having sexual desires. That's just one more way she could find someone to replace me and I'm terrified that will happen, even though she insists it won't. We don't have sex, so don't think that. I don't want to have sex with her or anyone else, ever. I just don't like her interacting with anyone but me because I'm an angry, paranoid, jealous person.